This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Come share oat with me in your robe
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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