I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
