come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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