help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
honey bunches of taint.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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