Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
