She's JV to your varsity
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
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