Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
