too bad you live with your parents still
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Randomize
