Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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