So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
kristin has been a bad kristin
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Randomize
