How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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