Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
