508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
oh god was she eating orange peels again
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize