listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
