sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Randomize
