He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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