I want to stick my p in your. b.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
We had to coat check the pizza.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
