Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
