people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Randomize
