brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
