She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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