Joe is yelling at the trees again.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
