Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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