yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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