i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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