I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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