he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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