He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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