Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
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