i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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