im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Two words: blizzard sex
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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