the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
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