I met the friendliest cop last night
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
