My liver just broke up with me...
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
