She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize