Quick, to the slutcave!
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Randomize
