found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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