it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
The adults are the big ones right?
Congratulations! We have a period
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