I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
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