Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
