id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Randomize
