I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize