I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
