Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
