dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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