i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
