Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Randomize
