I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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