Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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