ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
