Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
This couple is walking their pig around campus
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
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