It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
