She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Randomize
