mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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