he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
