Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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