Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
