we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
