How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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